Realtor Speak

5 Aug

I’m looking for a new apartment here in NYC. It sucks, bigtime… I’d forgotten quite how crappy it is wading through all the BS listings trying to sort the wheat from the chaff. The language people use in their ads is really quite telling though….

  • Spacious = Not spacious
  • Cozy = Tiny
  • Converted 2 bed = 1 bed
  • Small 1 bed = converted studio
  • Quiet neighborhood = not noisy all the time
  • Remodeled = recently gutted
  • Special = I can’t shift this shithole
  • Great deal = i can’t shift this shithole
  • Won’t last= i can’t shift this shithole
  • Fits Queen size bed = bedroom exactly the size of a queen size bed

The lying that goes on by realtors on craigs list is pretty shocking.

Also, it appears that the entirety of East Harlem is on the market right now.

Sigh.

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2 Responses to “Realtor Speak”

  1. AshmoeNY August 11, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    *applause* Tell me about it. Also, I have a major issue with paying a broker 10-12% of a year’s lease when they’ve done nothing but physically LET ME IN TO THE APARTMENT.
    I call shenanigans.

  2. kai macmahon August 14, 2011 at 5:18 am #

    Ha, yes. I refuse to pay a broker. Hrm… maybe that’s why I’m having problems, haha!

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